


We Can Only Be Human Together

by Thatmalu



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: College, Coming of Age, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Misgendering, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, POV Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Good Significant Other, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Soft Richie Tozier, Trans Character, Trans Eddie Kaspbrak, Trans Male Character, brief fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26940997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatmalu/pseuds/Thatmalu
Summary: Boys are not supposed to like other boys. That was made very obvious early on for Richie Tozier.Whenever he’d find himself staring too long at another boy in class or drifting his gaze away from Street Fighter to the other player by his side, he knew he shouldn’t be doing it. His classmates were sure to quickly point it out for him. Deemed the class queer before he reached high school, Richie couldn’t have been happier to meet her.Lightning struck his very soul when Richie laid eyes on Edelynn Kaspbrak for the first time.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 11
Kudos: 158





	We Can Only Be Human Together

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. So I sat down to start working on a Halloween project and instead pretty much wrote this thing over the span of two hours. 
> 
> I know I tagged "misgendering" but out of respect of not triggering anyone please take note: this is written from the POV of someone who does not realize another person is trans. Tbf, 1994 is also a much more ignorant time and it's not something people really thought about then. So from Richie's perspective, the pronouns will be wrong because he is ignorant/unaware of them. I promise it's all good in the end!
> 
> Anyway, it's just something simple and sweet I wrote in a short timespan. Please let me know if there's additional tags I could add that I didn't think of!

Boys are not supposed to like other boys. That was made very obvious early on for Richie Tozier.

Whenever he’d find himself staring too long at another boy in class or drifting his gaze away from Street Fighter to the other player by his side, he knew he _shouldn’t_ be doing it. His classmates were sure to quickly point it out for him. Deemed the class queer before he reached high school, Richie couldn’t have been happier to meet _her_.

Lightning struck his very soul when Richie laid eyes on Edelynn Kaspbrak for the first time. He had never liked a girl before. It wasn’t that other girls were ugly, per se; he just wasn’t interested. This was different. This was special.

On the first day of classes after starting at Derry High, Richie reached over to tug on one of her pigtails to make her look over at him. She hadn’t bothered glancing in his direction during their _other_ classes together, so he wasn’t going to risk ending his last period without saying hi.

She jumped in her seat at the sensation, turning over to glare at him with the prettiest tint of red on her cheeks.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing, asshole?”

Richie was pretty sure that was the moment he fell in love.

A selfish part of him wanted to like her out of fear, knowing the implications would lessen the nasty rumors about him that spread around school. Hell, not a week into classes somebody had already written _Richie Tozier sucks flamer cock_ on one of the bathroom stalls in the girls’ room. When Edelynn told Richie about it, it made him more determined to show his affections for her. 

Being around her made him sick in the most pleasant way possible. He’d feel flushed and dizzy, even more erratic than usual, unable to stop himself from blurting out the stupidest jokes. Sometimes she’d let herself giggle at them if he caught her off guard with a good one, and it made his heart soar. Spending so much time with her seemed to (almost) let all the gay rumors die down, but around her it started not to matter anyway.

One night they were hanging out with Bill and Mike, two friends that Richie made in middle school, the former of the two he almost regretted introducing to his new friend. She was kind of in awe of Bill, almost starstruck, and Richie’s jealousy flared in his belly like an angry beast. It totally slipped when he snapped at Bill with an attempt at being playful, yanking her away while she played with the sleeve of Bill’s shirt.

“Hands off Eddie, Billy. She’s mine.”

No one had called her that before. She blinked up at him, seeming to disregard everything else Richie had said and the possessiveness behind it.

“Eddie?”

“Richie, that’s a boy’s nickname,” Bill told him. “Don’t be calling her - ”

“No,” she said suddenly. “I like it. I really like Eddie.”

So it was; they started calling her Eddie.

It was like a secret identity Eddie could hide under when she wasn’t with her stern, overbearing mother. Sonia _definitely_ wouldn’t approve of her hanging out with a group of _boys_ all the time. The new name somehow seemed to satiate the guilt, make her feel like she was just… one of the guys. Nothing was wrong with that.

Still, Richie had liked the idea of calling Eddie something special, something only meant for _him_. So occasionally it was Eddie Spaghetti or Spagheds, both of which made her roll her eyes in the cutest way possible. Then he slipped out another banger.

“Hey, Eds!” he grinned as she entered Bill’s living room one Tuesday afternoon after school.

That was the one; he knew it the second the corners of her mouth turned up slightly and she pulled her hair in front of her face to hide her blush.

Both of them were rather stupid, which was surprising given their good grades at school. Alas, it wasn’t until the beginning of their senior year that either of them did something about the feelings between them.

“Why - didn’t - you say - anything?” Eddie breathed between kisses in the back of Richie’s Daewoo, after she had dragged him back there on his way taking her home from their homecoming dance. 

“You didn’t either, sweetheart,” Richie chuckled, holding her head in his hands to kiss her deeply. She seemed to melt right into him at the new term of endearment. Neither of them had kissed anyone before, and Eddie would later tease Richie for kissing “like one would try to reach the ice cream at the bottom of a cone.” At the time, though, he was pretty sure she was too blissed out to speak, simply sighing against his lips as he ran his hands up her thighs while holding her in his lap.

“It’s about fucking time,” Bill and Mike groaned together when they told them.

It _was_ just about time, because the two of them had started to apply for colleges. Prior to homecoming, Richie had been pestering Eddie about which universities she applied to so that he could send applications to them as well. He didn’t have it in him to admit it to her until after they started dating, but her reaction was so _pleased_. She reached over his bed to hug him around the middle and squeezed him tight.

“Thank god,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

When they only got into one of the same colleges together, Richie became nervous, but Eddie enthusiastically sent her acceptance response, ready to leave this town behind them. The rest of the year went by in a pleasant blur, both of them trying to save up money as quickly as possible so they wouldn’t starve in New York City. Eddie had received a full ride scholarship, but Richie had to take a loan out to afford getting a dorm there.

Not that he minded. He’d do anything to stay with Eddie.

The only way they were able to pull it off was to send all of Eddie’s applications with Richie’s house as the return address. There was no way Sonia would let her precious baby leave, especially with some _dirty boy_ , as she’d often refer to Richie as. Eddie was terrified of even packing anything, worried that her mother would become too suspicious. So she slowly started bringing some things over to Richie’s house, just enough stuff that she was happy to bring with them and pack up in his car for the drive.

“You don’t have any clothes, baby,” Richie pointed out just a week before they planned on leaving. 

“I’ll pack up some jeans last minute,” Eddie assured him. “You don’t mind me wearing some of your shirts or anything, right?”

“Hell no,” Richie beamed, always delighted to see Eddie’s small frame swimming in Richie’s oversized hoodies. “Anything of mine is all yours to take, sweetheart.”

All that was left for Sonia was a handwritten note Eddie left on her favorite spot in the living room, where she always sat to watch her shows. As happy as Richie was to get her out of that abusive home, it still wretched his heart to see her sit beside him with silent tears streaming down her face. No matter how shitty a parent may treat their kids, it didn’t make things easier to leave them. He reached over to take her hand in his own, squeezing tightly and never letting go for the whole ride down.

They’d have to be in separate dorms, but they lucked out and ended up in the same Freshman hall, only fifty feet from each other at any given moment. Richie couldn’t help but find it hysterical to see his introverted, shy girlfriend be bombarded with the bubbly, spunky redhead she would be sharing with, and the timid and stern bird enthusiast he ended up getting assigned with. Little did they realize they’d end up all being peas in a pod and spending all their time together.

Just before Halloween, Richie walked down the hallway with his roommate Stan, who was lecturing Richie about being out barefoot and shirtless, but Richie ignored him. This was practically his home now, and he’d seen people walk around in _much_ less on the weekends. A faint wailing could be heard from the hallway and the two of them exchanged looks before knocking on Eddie and Bev’s door.

“Hold on!” Bev’s voice called through the door.

Richie was a teeny bit nervous, because he knew Eddie often got anxious and was hard to calm down if she got too into her head. He bounced on the balls of his feet until Bev opened the door, a sheepish smile on her face.

“Before you say anything,” she began, arms up in surrender. “This was completely my doing!”

“Oh god,” Stan groaned, following Richie into the dorm room.

Eddie was sitting cross-legged on her bed, wearing some jeans and one of Richie’s band t-shirts, her face completely covered by a towel draped over her head. 

“Richie, I’m sorrrrrrrrry,” she moaned, clutching the towel tighter to her head. “Please don’t be mad.”

“What the hell would I be mad about?” Richie asked, going to pull the towel off, but Eddie’s grip only got firmer.

“Eddie, it’s ok,” Beverly cooed, still displaying a silly smile on her face. “I’m sure Richie won’t mind!”

With a shaky breath, Eddie finally pulled down the towel. Richie couldn’t help but reel back a little in surprise when he saw all of Eddie’s hair had been chopped off to a short little cut, even shorter than his.

“She’d been wanting to do it all month,” Bev said. “So I just kind of… chopped a big chunk off so she didn’t have to think about it anymore.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Eddie muttered, sniffling and clutching the towel to her chest.

“Eds, do you really think I’d be mad?” Richie asked sincerely, sitting down beside her and lifting his hand up to run through the short strands. Bits of stray hairs still clung to her face from Bev’s chop job, but Richie thought she did a pretty damn good job for a dorm room hair cut. Truthfully, Richie found it awfully annoying when Eddie’s hair would get in his face and he’d always catch her being frustrated with it. Plus, she just looked _amazing_ ; as always.

“I just… I remember how upset you were in high school,” Eddie said quietly. “When people thought… you know.”

 _That I was gay_ , Richie thought, nodding silently. But he wasn't gay. He loved Eddie. Yeah, truthfully, he was happy that he wasn’t simply because things were easier this way, but also now because he could be with someone as amazing as Eddie. With the new haircut and her constantly wearing his clothes, he could understand her concerns, and part of him…

Well, part of him preferred her this way. He wasn’t sure why. But really, she seemed much happier since they left Derry, and a happy Eddie was the best Eddie, no matter what. That’s probably all it was.

“Do you like it?” he asked, taking Eddie’s chin in his hand.

She didn’t say anything for a moment, looking up at Beverly who gave her an encouraging thumbs up. Then, with a small smile spreading on her face, she nodded.

“Then it’s perfect, my love,” he beamed, leaning down to kiss her. Stanley made throwing up noises and Richie flipped him off without stopping kissing Eddie who was giggling against his lips.

Yes, a happy Eddie was the best Eddie, indeed.

Since they had to take the same bogus general education classes to graduate, Eddie and Richie agreed to try to take the same ones as often as they could. They always did better in school when they shared classes, so it made sense to keep the habit up. On the first day they went back to classes after Eddie got the haircut, they sat down in one of their lecture halls and an unpleasant student sat beside Eddie with a sneer on his face.

“You look like a boy now,” he snickered, plopping down in his chair.

Richie was about to snap at him, but Eddie simply mumbled, “Thanks.” It was a strange thing to say, but he caught a tiny smile on her face as he cheeks blushed slightly.

_Huh._

Occasionally, Eddie would say strange things without explanation. Richie never really questioned it, thinking that it was normal for someone who grew up in a household like hers to be so self-conscious. Just after the hair incident, they were making out in Richie’s dorm while Stanley was in class and Richie pointed out that he didn’t even notice she wasn’t wearing a bra under his shirt.

“I barely have any, anyway,” she muttered. “I don’t really see the point.” Her brow furrowed in that way they did when she was thinking about something, so he waited patiently for her to continue. “Do you wish I had bigger boobs?”

She was definitely flat, almost to the point where she really didn’t need a bra at all, but that didn’t matter to him. “No. You’re perfect,” he said truthfully.

Eddie rolled her eyes. “Bullshit.”

“It’s true. I wouldn’t change anything about you.”

That apparently wasn’t the right thing to say; her reaction was immediate, tears springing to her eyes underneath him.

He wasn’t really sure what he said to upset her and when he asked, all she could say was: “I don’t know how to explain it.”

Halloween was a little too much for Eddie right away. They decided to go as Calvin and Hobbes, since all they really needed was the tiger costume for Richie. All Eddie had to get was one of Richie’s red shirts and some black jeans and Beverly was kind enough to paint some tiger stripes on Richie’s face. The streets were packed and _loud_ , and the dorm halls were full of drunk students losing their absolute minds. It was enjoyable for a short time before Richie could recognize Eddie becoming too anxious for the crowds, politely saying goodbye to their friends and Bev’s boyfriend, Ben, before going back to the dorms.

After Richie washed off his makeup, he went back into the dorm to see Eddie just laying there naked, calling him over silently with nothing but her index finger in a _come here_ motion. He practically jumped onto the bed with her, sending her into giggles before kissing all over her body and making her shiver at his touch.

Eddie had told Richie that she wasn’t ready for sex yet, and he honestly didn’t mind. He’d be celibate if that’s what she wanted, just for the chance to spend his life with her. So it was surprising when they were making out and she asked him something he never expected.

Richie asked carefully, “Are you sure?”

“It’s just your fingers. You’ve fingered me before.”

“Yeah, but not in your _ass_ ,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“I just want to know what it feels like. I’ll tell you to stop if I don’t like it.”

It’s not five minutes later that Richie is kissing down her stomach, his fingers working through her, pressing the base of his palm into her clit and making her squirm around at his touch. Her breath is coming out in heavy pants and he’s pretty sure she’s come already by the way her muscles contract around his fingers, but she’s always been so shy about it.

He knows she’s been having a tough time lately. He knows she’s been feeling insecure. So he tries, to his best ability, to try and offer some reassurance.

“You are so goddamn sexy,” he whispers, leaning his body up so she can hear him better. “You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen baby.”

To his dismay, Eddie let out a sob, and he paused his hand, hoping that it was somehow just her crying out in ecstasy, but she started crying, genuinely _crying_ , and he carefully pulled his hand away from her, wiping it on the bed sheets before cradling her in his arms.

“What’s wrong, Eds?” he asked, desperate to do whatever it would take to make her happy.

“Richie, it’s - I can’t - it’s going to ruin everything.”

“You could never,” he assured her, pulling back so he could brush her fringe and stroke her cheek. “Please tell me Eddie. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

So Eddie took a deep breath.

“Richie, I don’t - I don’t want to be a girl,” Eddie started slowly, eyes darting up at him for a reaction.

“Oh. Uh. Ok. Maybe you can… explain that a little bit to me?”

“I… I never felt right being a girl,” Eddie continued. “Every time I look in the mirror, I just… I wish there was a boy looking back at me. I’ve always wanted to try and play sports with the boys or even work on cars and stuff, but my mom would never… you know, she’d say that was stuff girls weren’t supposed to do. It’s not that I _hate_ feminine things, but I just feel uncomfortable _being_ female. Or maybe that’s not even it. It’s not even about wearing dresses or whatever the hell else girls are expected to do, it’s just, I… I want to just _exist_ differently. I’ve never felt ok with being thought of as a girl. When you started calling me Eddie years ago, it was like… I don’t know, like creating this new persona I wanted to hide into where I could pretend I wasn’t Edelynn anymore. I don’t want to be her anymore. I just want to be Eddie.”

Richie listened, trying to take this all in. Unsure of what to say at first, just staring back at - just staring back at _him_ , taking _him_ in really for the first time and trying to understand. He felt so secure in the fact that he would do anything to make this man in his lap happy. He leaned forward and kissed Eddie fervently but quickly so he could pull back and look at him earnestly.

“You _are_ Eddie,” he told him, brushing away one of Eddie’s tears with his thumb. “And whatever you need to do - whatever you need from me - to help yourself get away from Edelynn, I’ll be right here. I promise.”

“R-really?” Eddie breathed, staring up at Richie with his bright, dark brown eyes. 

“Absolutely,” Richie said. “Just… keep telling me how you’re feeling. I’m probably not going to say or do the right things all the time, so you gotta let me know so I can be better.”

Eddie smiled up at him, kissing Richie again with equal vigor. “You’re the best, Richie. I love you.”

“I love you, too Eds,” Richie beamed. “Huh…”

“What is it?” 

Richie couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head and smiling down at his boyfriend. “Guess I am gay after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3


End file.
